I'm not done yet.

I don't believe that I lost. I don't believe that I am not my own master or that I have failed and given up. Yes I gave in, when my life started to go in a direction I didn't like. Because I couldn't find the right tools to make it go in another direction.

That doesn't mean that I gave up, or that I lost. And it oh so doesn't mean that I am not strong. Feeling the way I do, is not easy. Giving in to these feelings are not easy, and it does not mean... yes I am repeating my self, but... it does not mean that I gave up.

I'm still trying. It takes time, tears, and a lot of patience. Both from me, my bf, my close friends and family. And when I get out of this hole, I'll smile. And I'll know, that out there somewhere, are ppl that still feel haunted. Because of how they treated me.

I can change my future, but they can never change the past.